CHANGING HABITS

By Niki Billingslea

One of the “Eight Steps into the Master Mind Consciousness” states, “I decide to be changed.  I make a decision to surrender my will and my life to the Master Mind (God).  I ask to be changed at depth.”  Another one of the steps states, “I am ready to have my beliefs and attitudes changed so that my life can be transformed.”  Four years after taking my first Master Mind covenant, these words strike the very core of my being.

I think that four years ago I thought my life would change if I simply wished hard enough.  Ignorantly, I thought that my world would change and I would somehow be the same.  I was aware that I would have to do something differently, but I could not imagine that I would have to change.

Have you thought about what it means to change?  I used to think changing my life, my beliefs and my attitudes was merely doing things differently: exercise more, meditate regularly, eat healthy.  Sure, developing new habits help and facilitate a change, but those actions and habits alone do not create the deep change that is required to transform our lives.

Going back to my spiritual leaders, they say that all transformation begins with the thoughts we hold.  We have to root out the ideas that do not serve us and our feelings about the things we want to change but are unable to take action.  That is an overhaul that is no small undertaking. We have so many thoughts in the course of a day that to consciously deal with each seems daunting.

Meditation has become my salvation.  I sit and focus on the quality I am trying to create in my life.  The change that I think I want to make in order to allow for the condition I need to realize my purpose.  I meditate on it, I analyze it and I try to envision and feel it as much as possible.  Then, of course, I take steps to prepare myself for the situation.

An example, in my life, was the time I wanted a specific position at work.  The year before I was offered the position, I said YES to life.  I decided that any and every opportunity presented to me would be received with gratitude and taken advantage of.  All kinds of opportunities were presented to me--some which I had no idea how I could follow through with or fully take advantage of.

After saying yes for an entire year, with my last couple hundred dollars in the bank, and no idea of how I was going to get out of this situation without selling my soul back in a position I did not want, I received a phone call offering me the position I wanted.  Wow.  It was a wonderful moment, not because of the position but because my beliefs about what was possible were transformed.

In that year-long process, I had to push myself to do things I did not believe I could do--I was the technical and media director for a multi-disciplinary and inter-departmental project.  I was way in over my head, yet I honored my word and stuck with it.  Throughout the process, I had to keep telling myself “I am capable.  I can do it.”  I proved it to myself by preparing and learning the software I needed to execute the project.

Not all processes are so intense, but the best are.  A place to start is this web page dedicated to making change “Changing Your Habits.”

REPROGRAMMING THOUGHTS HELD IN MIND

By Niki Billingslea

When I found myself uncomfortable with the direction of my life, I called on the lessons my mother taught me.  Her life was a testament of transformation.  The stories she told me about her darkest days, and the few dark moments I witness first-hand were unbelievable when contrasted with the life she created--minister, organizer, talent manager and radio show host. She taught me to think it and be it.

She empowered me and sent me out into the world with abilities I was not fully aware of.  I knew I wanted to graduate high school and leave California.  Nobody thought I would and I did.  I decided to go to New York.  I didn’t know anyone there but I went anyway and found the exact situation my mind envisioned.  When I was done with New York I finally felt free to  dance and sing.  Just like that, when I came back to L.A., spirit provided the opportunity for me to say yes to dancing and singing professionally.

I am thankful I was able to have such powerful results with no awareness whatsoever of what I was doing.  Now that I am aware, my application of thoughts and intention are much more focused.  I act with precision, and it makes me very sensitive to the outcome of my thoughts.  Having a vision, knowing what I want and being purposeful is an empowering experience.  When experiences or people present a possible distraction, all I have to do is tune in to that guiding thought and vision to illuminate my way back to myself.

    Control of thought is not a magical mystical occurrence.  It is a rigorous and sometimes grueling undertaking--for me, that is.  Becoming aware of my thoughts and evaluating them was intense.  It was akin to watching a movie and constantly pausing and rewinding.  I didn’t mind but some people in my life didn’t get it. The people who understood helped me when I spoke in counter-productive ways.  I cannot say that I do not have to do that anymore.  Like an onion, I keep peeling back layers of thoughts, ideas and habits that I have to manually reprogram.

    The work comes in not only identifying the things I want to change, but  what I want to change them into.  Having a vision of myself creates this blueprint for me.  It is even better when I spend time feeling and seeing myself as I want to be.  This isn’t a quick fix, it is a lifetime relationship that I create with myself.  

    As I replace thoughts and habits that do not serve me with those that do, I embrace the experiences and people who help me demonstrate my new state of being.  Sometimes I have to go back to the drawing board and reassess the depth of my work.  There are times when the people or experiences help complete the process of  transformation.  This  generates various levels of discomfort.

    I used to recoil from the discomfort--run and hide emotionally.  Once I realized that the discomfort marks the threshold, I learned to take a deep breath and let go in the face of the struggle.  There is no need to fight the change I called to myself.  My students often offer the greatest opportunities for growth and change.  I used to try to protect myself and put up a wall so that they would not hurt me.  I came to understand that they were in more pain than I could ever imagine.  The insight that they are not the adversary or a threat helped me to drop my guard and be more compassionate.

I breathe through those experiences as I remind myself of why I am here and what needs to be accomplished--most often understanding.  There is also the memory of what I'm here for. When I was a child, I was very aware of my purpose for being.   Adults would consult with me and ask me for my opinion.  In those instances, I felt the spirit of God speaking through me.  I understood that it was not me but what I allowed to work in me.   My interactions with children my age had always been that of confidante and advisor.  I heal.  I empower. I give a voice to people who have been silenced.

My work as an adult is very much the same as the work I did as a child.  Have I digressed from my path? Certainly.  Have I experienced a sense of loss and confusion?  Definitely.  How do I find my way back?  I remember.  I do not try to go back in time.  I do not try to relive experiences.  I move forward with the knowledge of who I am and what I am capable of.  I think we all have this ability.