By Niki Billingslea
When I began the MasterMind process, I was hesitant and excited to work with others on my goals. It took some time for me to relax into sharing my hopes and dreams with someone, and to reveal my weaknesses and struggles as well. In this experience of having a partner and someone I am accountable to, I have learned that I have much more determination and focus than I initially thought of myself.
I also learned the value of an accountability partner on several levels. It was a surprise to me that I felt a responsibility to my partner to be positive and prepared at all times. In my past interactions with people, I would make every effort to prove how much I actually did not care. I came to have a deep respect for my partner’s time, her rate of progress and her dedication to our meetings. There were times when I tried harder to keep up with my requests, affirmations and weekly goals so that she would know how much I appreciate our work. When I could not find the motivation to do it for myself, I would work hard to accomplish my goals for my partner so that I would have something to share with her.
I pushed myself harder and more than I felt like doing because I hoped that when I hit a wall, she would be there and be able to balance me out. Before this experience, I did not know I had that kind of dedication to another person. I appreciate my partner for being there and being patient as both of us navigated the ebbs and flows of our processes. The realization that it can be a good thing to not feel super at the same time was a burden off of me. I would rather be unsynchronized in that way because there are few things worse than two people in a negative space at the same time. As a partner, I learned to look forward to my partner’s upswing because it usually occurs at a time I need that energy. When I am up, she accepts my rays of sunshine.
Having a partner is not always easy, not for the reasons aforementioned but, because at some point an accountability partner has to deliver the truth. As much as I would like to think I am doing everything I can do and accomplish all that I need to accomplish, I know that I have presented dozens of beautifully illustrated excuses to justify my laziness. God bless my partner for listening, but when it is time to call it like it is, she very politely presents the truth to me. That is what true accountability is: speaking the truth when another person is tap dancing around it. The responsibility of the receiver is to accept the insight and not resist it. The ego is an extraordinary thing; it will have you believing you can fly and in the midst of falling fast to earth convince you to refuse a parachute. I have learned to be open and receptive to truth even when my ego does not like it.
In the end, a partner becomes the person that can celebrate in the truest form because she has been there the entire way. Witnessing the growth of another person from her lowest points to her highest is inspiring beyond all words and humbling to have a profound understanding of the sacrifice and courage it took to make it. My desire is to see more of this in my community. I do not see enough women supporting each other to the degree that I have experienced in this process. I do not see enough people supporting their personal dreams, let alone supporting someone else’s. Perhaps if we can be there for someone else, we can learn to be there for ourselves.
I have a confession. I have become very good at talking the talk of success so much so that I often believe my own hype. The one thing that I cannot hide from is the fact that I have little to show for years of talk. This is where faking it til you make it becomes a crutch.