By Niki Billingslea
According to Yogi Bhajan, one of the seven steps to happiness is commitment. Commitment is simply making a promise to yourself to follow through. The level of commitment is dependent upon the level of focus and personal connection. The commitment I made was to writing, and not just writing because I have done that nearly my entire life; my commitment has been to finish the book projects I start and see them through to publication.
It has been a deep and profound commitment because for so long I have avoided commitment on so many levels in my life. Commitment to completing projects has meant that I had to assess how I use my time. When I examined my schedule and daily habits, I discovered I spent a great deal of my time doing things that others wanted me to do and acting upon the whims of others. I had to stop accepting the spontaneous invitations to hang out. I had to value my time over others. At first, it seemed a selfish way to be, but when I read about and observe the practices of successful people, I realize that it is a necessity.
I read “The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People” by Stephen Covey. Habit three is to put first things first. In doing so, it is necessary to say no to the requests of others as it impedes upon valuable time. There were projects I had to pass on and proposed opportunities that I had to deny. There was a time I would have feelings of resentment toward individuals or groups for using my time ineffectively. For some reason I expected others to use my time better than I could use it for myself. I reassessed the time and energy I would put into community organizations, realizing that I could do a much greater good by completing my projects and bringing expertise to them. Leaders are good workers, but laboring is not the best use of a leader’s ability. Writing and completing projects is the actualization of my leadership qualities.
Instead of feeling resentment towards others for not using my talents optimally, I have an appreciation for the ability others recognize in me. I graciously decline to participate in meetings and activities that do not facilitate the completion of my projects. That is not to say that old habits are not hard to break. From time to time I find myself mired in a situation that is clearly not aligned with my goals. When I come face to face with such an error, I quickly correct myself. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable to tell someone I have to back out of a project, but it feels better to admit my mistake than follow through with it and feel resentment and anger at myself for allowing it to happen.
A friend recently invited me into a money-making venture and I had to graciously and kindly decline. I did not feel bad about it because I have a purpose and clearly defined objectives. I am not good at keeping and creating deadlines, but I have not stopped writing. I am committed to my success. I have stopped feeling guilty about saying no to the dreams of others. I can be supportive, but I cannot sacrifice my own or else there will be nothing left for me. I say yes to me.
The Seven Steps to Happiness:
commitment
character
dignity
divinity
grace
sacrifice
- happiness
