Since I found myself in a slump for the past two weeks, I pulled up a book I had downloaded on my iPad two years ago. I listened to the audiobook about ten years ago and four years ago I read the book. Completing the exercises in the workbook is a totally different experience.
Doing the work is a much more fulfilling activity than simply reading about doing the work. This is the reason why we should equip ourselves with as much arsenal as possible in the war against stagnation. For me, it is a fight, but one worth getting into because this is my life. I'm not going down without a fight. I'm not going down, period.
It is possible to go overboard with the self-help books, tapes, workshops, lectures, etc. So, if more information is being taken in than is being processed, then I would say it is time to slow down. Take a minute to practice and apply tools before picking new ones up.
When I was three, I was at a pool party with my grandparents. It was a wonderful night; there were all kinds of people and, incredibly, they noticed me and made me feel special. There was a magic show, and I remember having a front-row seat with my grandparents. The Magician picked me to participate in his act, and when I was about to approach him, my grandmother pulled me back. Her action was imperceptible to everyone but me. No one understood why I did not go forward; I was confused and did not know what to do. All I knew was that my grandmother’s action led me to believe that I should not participate. The magician chose a half-dozen other kids; I watched as they received prizes, toy balloons and had the best time I had ever seen kids have. That disappointment set so deep inside of me.
Throughout my life there were so many times that I hesitated and was passed over. Every time that feeling of disappointment and sadness seethed inside of me. There were times, however, that I was able to bypass that programming and act. The swim instructor challenged me to jump from the 12-foot diving board into the deep end of the olympic-size pool. The only hesitation there was, was me telling myself to go for it. It took years for me to become comfortable acting without hesitation. My first impulse is still to stop and wait before I do anything or make any decision. I have to consciously keep myself present and ready to act.
One day, I want to be able to respond to the situation or request without hesitation and without doubt. I work to stop beating myself up about that flaw. Instead, I try to approach this condition of hesitation another way--turn every experience into an adventure. I challenge myself daily to live fully, boldly and without fear. The world has become my amusement park. There is a thrill waiting around every corner and every situation as long as I live up to the challenge of no hesitation.
When the new year begins, I'm so excited about the goals I set and the possibilities I see in my mind's eye. During a good year, I don't hit the blahs until around May/June. This year caught me struggling to remain positive about the struggle as soon as February.
Think about it. What is it that is really keeping us from accomplishing our goals? Short of someone physically preventing us from moving forward, there is NOTHING stopping us from doing what we want with our lives.
No money? Find a way to make it.
No resources? Ask someone or seek out the people who can point in the right direction.
No education? Go to the library.
No clue? Ask somebody.
No energy? Eat right.
Bad health? As long as there is life, there is another opportunity to share the thought so that something can be done with it.
I can go on, but I will not.
For every excuse there is a solution. At the end of the day, our thoughts and our feelings about our situation provide the obstacles. Please accept this: WE ARE WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE WE ALLOW OUR THOUGHTS OR OUR FEELINGS TO PUT US HERE. Consider this scenario: I woke up this morning and when I thought about all of the things I need to do and the the problems I have to address, I felt defeated. I was tired even before I got out of bed. I asked myself "what is the point?" My grandfather asked me what am I going to do, my checking account is close to $0 and none of the employers I reached out to have responded. All day I thought about it and tried to figure out what to do. I got on the phone and talked about it to my friend who was having similar challenges. By the time I put my son to bed, I was mentally and physically exhausted but had done very little.
The problem with the above scenario is that there was no mention of waking up with a sense of gratitude for having another opportunity to get it right, despite what might have happened the day before. I spent too much time focused on problems and not solutions. To my detriment, turned to someone who got down in my hole of self-pity with me instead of helping me out. Finally, there was far too much thinking and not enough action. Even if the only thing I did was meditate, that would have cleared my mind-space for more positive thought.
Quite often we shut ourselves out from the game before we even get into the arena. Imagine for a moment, we are standing on the corner down the street thinking about the problems, the visions, the goals and the obstacles. We haven't even arrived at the gate! Is it acceptable to dwell on the thoughts "I'm depressed," "I'm overwhelmed," "I can't do it"? No! I have learned how to coach myself. We have to coach ourselves. I’m not talking about the nice life coach that costs a million dollars a session; I’m talking about the loud coach with the whistle and spittle. Get in your own face.
I think to myself. If I am not physically impaired, if no one is holding me down, if I have the use of my mind, I can get it done. I think about the athletes who manage to do remarkable things with their bodies. I am training and conditioning to do something as remarkable with my mind. When I begin to resist myself and the things I need to take to achieve my goals, I get really raw with myself.
Things my inner coach says to get my A in gear:
If you do not do this right now, today when will it get done? What else do you have to do that is more important than realize the vision? Your feelings are not going to get it done; action and work is going to get it done!
The pain and the resistance means you are making progress!You are
almost there! Hold it, keep pushing forward just a little longer! Don't
give up!
You tired?! You haven't even made it to the board room! You don't even have a contract to negotiate! Get real and do something or stop lying to yourself.
How bad do you want it? What does your dream mean to you? Is it worth fighting for?
At the end of the day, achieving my goals Is my only real option. The other choice is to give up and die inside. As long as I am breathing, I will do something that will take me closer to my vision. It is that simple. I do not worry about what other people say or think. If they are not trying to help me, they get tuned out. I love what the comedian Katt Williams said about that situation. He said in the face of haters and dream destroyers to "tune in to your STAR PLAYER." My star player is me. I am my greatest supporter and motivator. I will not say that I do not need anyone or need help because I certainly do. What I emphasize here is that the source of our success lies within us. We have to want it more than anyone wants it for us.
To draw another analogy: this process is like being a recovering failure. There may be times when we fall off of the wagon and take a hit of self-pity, but there is nothing nor anyone who can save us from the sickness but us.
