EARTH'S GREATEST NATURAL RESOURCE: OUR MINDS & ATTENTION

    

     Lately I have found myself frequently reminding my students and my son that each person is wealthy beyond measure, yet everyday that wealth is squandered and surrendered to other sources. Ever stop to think about what life would be like if you spent your time on you instead of other things and other people?

     As innocuous an activity as watching television is, many people are devoted to their favorite programs. Yet, do you stop and think about what those programs do for you?  Does the programming improve the quality of your life?  Does the program contribute to your financial or physical well-being?  Of course, we all need to decompress and relax sometime.  So many people ask, what is the harm in watching television after a long day of work or school?  Nothing is wrong if you do not mind letting down your subconscious guard and allowing your mind to be invaded by ideas and messages that are sent through the airwaves to inspire you to part with your money and time.  When you watch television or a movie you are empowering someone else's vision.

     There are people who are very disciplined in financial matters.  Their needs and wants are closely monitored, yet copious amounts of time will be spent taking in tales of vampires, fighting housewives, and promiscuous drones prowling the country in search of the next orgasm.  I hope more people begin to ask why are we driven to distraction to such a degree?  There was a time when television signed off. We were given a break to contemplate the silence and be with ourselves.  That is no longer the policy.  Every second of every minute, of every day is programmed for any willing person.  How much time do we spend on our personal visions?  How much time does the average person spend creating for himself/herself?  There was a time I used to cover the television with beautiful African textiles and I have refused to purchase cable or satellite service since 1992.  I love thinking and creating my own entertainment.  I don't like sitting idle in front of a screen.  If I'm in front of a screen, I'm writing.

     I am aware that some people want to escape their lives.  They would prefer to experience life through someone else’s lenses.  That is a choice we all have, but I challenge that the lives we are given are so precious and sweet.  Giving them up to and casting pearls before swine is such an ungrateful way to exist.  The least we can do when we get up everyday is make an effort to find a our purposes, fulfill our purposes and leave a divine template for our children to follow or recreate.

     When I hear people complain about their lives, I can't help but think to myself that had they simply sat down and planned, they would not have to react.  It can’t be fun living in constant survival mode, going from one near catastrophe to another. However, if the majority of your life consists of getting to the nearest television as soon as possible, there is little time for anything else.  Lately, I have heard people say “stay ready,” but how can anyone stay ready when they are always in front of a television?

      The best times in my life have been sitting in a circle of friends talking about our visions, laughing and appreciating the vibe.  I need more people in my life to enjoy that too.  I cannot sit through another conversation about a celebrity’s outfit or which housewife snatched another one’s weave out.  My spirit is exhausted.  Wake me when the television goes off.

Problem? What Problem?

     The wonderful thing about aging is the discovery that there are infinite opportunities to learn and grow.  My latest epiphany was the realization that the only problems that exist are the problems I perceive in my mind.  I was going to an event and I knew that I was going to see an individual there. In my mind, I created an entire scenario and became agitated at the thought of attending the event. Luckily, I stopped myself before I went in and I determined to keep an open mind. Once inside the event, I inevitably ran into the person I dreaded seeing, and that person was who he always is. The difference was that I chose not to accept it as a problem. It did not affect me because I did not allow it to. As simple as that.

     Have you ever tried to disappoint yourself before anybody else could? Sure you have. Whenever you predict that someone will turn you down or reject you, you just did it for yourself before anybody else could.  People who are used to disappointment often hurt themselves before others can or they prepare themselves for disappointment before encounters to alleviate the hurt they believe they will experience.  I became aware of this and the affect of this self-sabotaging habit on my relationships.  I have to be aware of my thoughts and stop myself when I begin to prepare for imagined disappointment.

     To overcome this habit, I also have to re-live unpleasant memories of the times I have been profoundly hurt and disappointed. I remember and observe the child I was and understand the incident as an adult. I work through it for as long and as many times as I have to so that the pain is appropriately placed, in the past. When I was a toddler, I remember how my mom would get dressed to go out. It was so exciting to see her look so glamorous, but that heart-wrenching feeling of sadness as she walked out the door broke my heart. I always felt left behind and rejected. All my life I carried the dread of people leaving me behind. I began leaving people before they could leave me. I would go to events and leave early every time. When I go to church, I leave early. Friends never have to tell me to leave because I am out before we even get comfortable. I am so good at leaving relationships that I call myself an escape artist. Not funny at all.

     How do I change this habit? How do I release myself from this prison? I train my mind to see solutions, not problems. I approach life as if every situation will work out in my favor...even after someone says no...even after it does not have the result I imagined. What I have come to appreciate is that when a situation appears one way, it is actually unfolding beyond my control to result in a greater blessing and a divine circumstance than I could have ever created on my own.

     We experience disappointment and hurt feelings when we hold on to our thoughts of how things should be.  We cannot get stuck on the way we think it should be; we have to let go and work with the way things are. If the way things are does not serve us, we do not have to entertain it.  We do not have to accept another person's negativity.  All we can do is acknowledge the issue and focus on solutions. That is the key. The current state of being may not be our ideal but the only way out is to keep our minds focused and engaged in the answer to the issue. It is not a problem until our minds identify the experience as such.

THE VISION

 

The social climate in the US is scorching. People are rightfully passionate, and even angry. Some of us have taken to the streets, while others are putting their minds together on social media and in meeting rooms to strategize the next steps in the struggle.  The important discussion to have with ourselves and with each other is, if what is happening in our society is what I do not want, then what do I want to see in its place?

We get so caught up reacting to what it is that we do not want, that we give little or no energy to thinking about what it is we really want to experience.  If we do not do the work of planning to successfully change injustice with what we need, then we should expect very little to no change.  Besides, investing precious energy and time in solutions is much more productive than complaining or becoming a victim.

Can we allow ourselves to see the reality we want and free ourselves from the paralyzing images played out on the television? Some people find it difficult to entertain the thoughts and mental images they truly desire; they even resist.  We are so comfortable saying what we do not want or do not like, but sometimes articulating what we want or receiving what we want can be challenging.  When we see situations that we do not like or experience feelings that make us feel uncomfortable, our first reaction has to be to immediately hold the image in our minds of what it is we want.

The vision I have is:

• a world where ALL people are treated with respect and dignity
• a world where EVERY child grows up feeling loved and protected
• a world where women and elders are valued
• a world where the greatest conflict we witness are people’s personal struggles to free themselves of  mental and spiritual bondage

I don’t want to use the word daydream, but I encourage the imagining and the visioning that allows our minds to create what may not be in front of us.  We cannot afford to remain locked in the nightmare created by megalomaniacs who program us through broadcast television and cable/satellite shows.  The world’s greatest natural resource is our minds.  No one person can lead us to the promised land.  We individually and collectively have to have a vision that begins when we hold the thought and image in our minds.

I believe in you.  I believe in the infinite potential of the majority of people in this world who desire peace.



BALANCE

 

     Sometimes the greatest obstacle to our success may not be in our heads.  There are circumstances that we are unaware of at times that may contribute to the inertia in our lives.  The state or quality of balance is essential to our ability to move forward: balance of bio-chemicals, balance of emotions, balance of checkbook.

 

 

 

    For years I have dealt with anemia to one degree or another.  Anemia happens to be the imbalance or deficiency of iron from one’s system.  I was aware that anemia caused one to feel fatigued, but I never associated that condition with depression.  For months I have been struggling with trying to get things done in my life, but I just did not feel like it.  I have beat myself up mentally for not completing my projects on time, and I’ve harbored guilt about the physical feeling of not having energy.  I have been to the doctor, but never has my doctor advised me about or inquired about my mental/emotional well-being.

 

 

 

    Despite the oversight of my healthcare provider, I am taking action in creating more balance in my life.  The daily dose of iron has done wonders.  Once I complete a detox, I will be restored to my former greatness.  Exercise and diet, of course, are essential to daily emotional wellness.  There are holistic ways of coping with depression that do not require mood altering drugs.  Meditation is also a practice that can help create balance and peace in our lives.  If you feel stuck in your life and you know you have, and are willing, to do the work then there is a possibility that there is a health issue that needs to be addressed.

SHOW UP

I learned a valuable lesson seven years ago.  I signed up for a yoga teacher training course in hopes of building a stronger spiritual practice and maybe teaching at some point.  Right after our first meeting, my mother passed away.  It was a life-altering experience, just  a year and a half after the birth of  my son.  Needless to say, I thought that the best thing for me to do would be to discontinue the class because I knew I had no inclination to complete the assignments.

    When I spoke with my teacher Krishna Kaur Khalsa, she smiled sweetly and told me that I will not drop out.  I was appalled.  I wanted to feel sympathy and, dare I say, pity.  With  a great deal of attitude I  told her I could not promise that I would complete any of the assignments. Krishna told me, “Just show up.”

I was aware enough in my journey to understand that my extreme circumstances would warrant extreme measures of coping, so I submitted to her suggestion.   For the first couple of sessions,  all I did was sit on my mat in the back of the class.  At that time in my life, my spiritual reservoir was empty.  There was very little I felt I could contribute, but I showed up.

Meeting after meeting I showed up.  The 40 day Sadhana exercise was a killer but I showed up at 4:00am for that too.  The cold shower, the hour and a half to two hour asana and meditation were uncomfortable but welcome distractions from the pain and loss I was feeling.  The moments that brought joy to me were when my then three year-old son would start singing the mantras to me or sitting with me in meditation.  He was watching me and he was with me on that journey.

Showing up culminated in my passing the written exam. I had no idea how I knew most of the information.  Showing up set a new standard in my life for consistency and discipline that surpassed anything that I had practiced up to that point.  Showing up revealed to me that the intention is what it most important. Effort is great, but there are times when a transformation can take place effortlessly once one relaxes and submits to God.

  

    From time to time I have students who are overwhelmed and frustrated because of internal and external challenges.  For those who truly have a desire to change and grow, I encourage them to continue to show up and do what they can.  Most of the time it works.  It usually does not only when they continue to resist and struggle with situations out of their control.

In my life, I feel a sense of peace when I know that as long as I keep showing up to be the best version of myself, what is for me will present itself.

 

HEALING: YOU CAN’T GET TO THE MOUNTAIN-TOP WITHOUT GOING TO THE VALLEY

 

 

     This past week presented me the opportunity to share in the transformational experiences of sisters in my community.  It has been in the forefront of my consciousness that there are numbers of people who are hurting, yet our society encourages us to present our strong and happy fronts at all times.  Even the articles in this blog focus primarily on staying connected with the power within us.  Truth be told, we never know the true power until we allow ourselves to be weak.

     I am glad and proud that these women were brave enough to be vulnerable, to bare their souls so that they may begin to heal.  Everyone has a story and a struggle.  Not to diminish anyone’s experience, but no matter how rich, poor, aesthetically ideal or not, the challenges we face are relative to our threshold for growth and the accompanying discomfort.

     Before I became a fierce warrior woman, I routinely fought depression.  My childhood left scars that I did not know how to begin to heal for the longest.  By sheer will fueled with anger, I managed to accomplish far more than anyone thought I could.  When the anger no longer became useful, I participated in psychological counseling.

     Thankfully, my mother was available to facilitate my healing.  On several occasions, she would help me remember the details of my childhood that I had blocked out.  She was there to apologize and make me look at the rage eye to eye.  My dad too has been open and useful in walking with me down that emotional path I reluctantly go.  I realize that everyone does not get blessed with parents who make themselves available to that healing process and atone for the contributions they make.

     What I have learned is that healing begins with forgiveness.  It did not take me long to realize that I am forgiving myself for holding on to people, thoughts, and emotions that do not serve me.  No matter how wrong my parents were, they were entirely at liberty to extend to me an apology, or not.  I was freed from a mental prison when I released them.  I came to the understanding that they did the best they could under the circumstances.  They were growing up too and made quite a few mistakes, but their intentions were honorable.  From that experience, I become a stronger more resilient young woman.   

     Consider for a moment, before this modern era and industrialization, people relied on healers, ritual, and family to heal their feelings or emotions.  There was far more touching in the form of laying on of hands, hugging, holding hands and such.  People did rituals that brought together the unseen to influence the seen world in a way that made sense to them.  More often than not, there was always someone around: family members in multigenerational households, friends and community.  This new world made us fiercely independent and often alienated from ourselves.  These days we rely on psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, and life coaches to connect us to the answers that lie within us.  Interestingly enough, our modern support systems all come at a monetary cost.  Few people trust their families or friends.  The courts are filled with families who fight bitterly.

     My heart goes out to those individuals who find themselves locked into a personal hell of their past.  From my vantage point all they have to do is let go.  I let go and stopped regretting a past I did not have control over.  I let go of feelings about situations that I could not logically take responsibility for.  I let go of thoughts, reactions, and emotions that did not match my current living situation.  It is easier said than done.  It takes practice, it takes bravery and it takes strength.

     Guess what?  Many people have had truly traumatic experiences and have found a way to grow and excel beyond the expectations of the people and environments who limited them.  I used to think about the ancestors whose lives were not their own, who suffered at the whims of people who tried to rob them of their humanity.  I think of the ways they triumphed despite the daily attack on their spirit and psyche that told them they were nothing and would remain nothing.  Those ancestors somehow reared generations of people who became leaders, innovators, visionaries and catalysts of change around the world.

     I figured, if Harriet Tubman and Frederick Douglass had the spirit to overcome physical and mental obstacles, I could accomplish some of the same with more resources.   

WHAT SUCCESS FEELS LIKE

By Niki Billingslea

    This is one of those articles I have to write in the dark.  I do not yet consider myself successful, so I do not embody that quality in that sense.  What I will focus on is the feeling of success because what I have read and what I have been taught by my spiritual teachers is that being able to feel like I have already arrived is what ushers me into the state of having it.  How do you feel like you have something or have accomplished something that you have not yet done?

    A very important component to the process that I have chosen is practice.  The practice that each person adopts may vary.  My practice is deeply grounded in my daily meditation and prayer.  Writing down ideas is vital and so is the visualization, but none of that is possible without clearing the mind and creating the mental space for the ideas to come through.  So, when I want to experience the feeling of success, I make space for the experience.  I clear my area, my mind and my heart to be taken over by the feeling of success.

    I have had a few victories in my life, so as I focus on the success I see myself achieving I call on those feelings at those times.  Also, as I see myself in that moment of accomplishment and achievement, I experience sensations that I begin to associate with the level of success I would like to embody.  The sensations I feel are satisfaction: to at last arrive at a destination I projected for myself (by no means the end).  A sense of power engulfs me: I feel as if I have been carried this distance and through so much by sheer will--mine and my ancestors.  Another state I experience is that of gratitude.  In the past I have never associated gratitude with my feelings of victory.  However, when I see myself in the field of accomplishment that I desire, I have an immense wave of gratitude wash through me at the realization of the sacrifices, the growth, the support, and profound change that makes this success possible.  I am thankful to the spirit of God for making this possible.

    I feel it.  I even see it.  So, it has to be true.  Right?  To be honest, I have tried on several occasions to do things my way.  My way elicits temporary, and sometimes unsatisfactory, results.  I have ceased trying to be the contractor of my life.  I am now an architect and designer who consults with a higher source who is both developer and contractor.  Spirit makes it possible for me to design and it takes care of the details that I am not equipped to take care of.  There is a time frame I have in mind, but God has a different schedule.  What do I do?  Practice. I continue to focus on the plan, the feeling, and preparation.

See it.  Then feel it.

 

HITTING THE WALL

By Niki Billingslea

If you have been on your journey to realizing your purpose or pursuing a life-long goal, you know what it feels like to hit the wall.  That proverbial wall that stands between you and all of your hopes and dreams.  The one that you stare at for hours wondering what to do about it.  The people who get things done simply go through the wall, around it, or over it.  There are a number of people, for whom I write this article, who seem to think this wall is real.

    When you think you have it together this wall erects itself right in the middle of the path to your dreams.  What is up with that?  It keeps you from completing tasks you identified, it stops your flow and is a blight in your life altogether.  While you  wait for it to go away, you distract your self with people, activities and thoughts that have nothing to do with your vision.  The wall is not real.  You are lying to yourself.  You simply do not want to admit the truth to yourself.  That could be a number of things:  you have not fully committed, you are pursuing world-class goals  with small-town effort, or you are simply not doing the inner work necessary to activate that God potential in you.

    Everyone on the path experiences that period of elation and bliss with our first breakthrough.  Life is magical and we are levitating through life.  It is the best high ever.  Then that level of existence becomes normal.  The shine wears off and, if you do not continue to do the spiritual work, you fall off.  Falling off feels like being left behind or becoming detached.  If you happen to have a spiritual practice that sustains a connection with your higher source, then you at least maintain some of that blissful feeling.  Even that can become routine and something you create a blind spot to.  Kind of like that stack of papers on the table that has been there so long you do not see it any more.  That is the plateau that can turn into the wall.

    This is the point in your process when you  have to work to sustain the excitement and enthusiasm that will take you to the next level of your practice.  Some relationships are like this.  When you want to keep the passion alive, you have to make a conscious effort to put yourself in situations that elicit the energy field you want to pick up on.  I have an audiobook set that  I keep on constant rotation especially on those days when I just don’t feel like it.  There may be a time when those days turn into weeks or, God forbid, months.  You do not want to let that precious time slip through your fingers so you work to hold onto your vision.  You work to keep your goals intact.

    For me, it was like fighting for my life.  I listened to the CDs, I journaled like a crazy person, I sought out all the positive people or productive people in my phone.  I sat in the lectures and the churches soaking it up.  I forced myself to sit in meditation whether it was five minutes or thirty.  Eventually, and without my realizing it, my blahs turned into a-ha.

Getting through a tough period was not always like that.  There have been times in my life when the days turned into weeks, the weeks turned into months and the months turned into years.  To get out of it and get back on track took an equally grueling amount of time.  I got tired of it and the older I have become, the less I am willing to keep starting over from scratch. I may have a great excuse to be down and sad; however, these days I don’t allow myself the luxury of wallowing in personal pain.  I have come to enjoy proving to myself how divine I am by standing in my power.  It is exhilarating to look insecurity in the eye or fear, or whatever other obstacle and walk away with a smile and my joy intact.

   The most effective weapon against the wall is the one thing most people give up when they see it--your practice.  When obstacles erect themselves in your life, that is not the time to lie down with your belly up.  That is the perfect opportunity to become a spiritual warrior.  If you have been doing this for a while, you might have to upgrade your arsenal.  Find new tools, draw a new teacher into your life, be more open to being led.  Most importantly, DO NOT STOP prayer and meditation.  Do not stop your practice EVER.  

You may experience a bad day.  It is ok to have a bad day.  It happens to the best of us.  Take a time out, replenish, renew, relax.  Once you get a reboot, upgrade that practice and get back to it because there is no wall.  There is only your vision waiting for you to embrace it.

MY PROCESS

   By Niki Billingslea

     I feel like this process began when I decided I was not going to live the life my parents lived.  I decided that when I was nine years old.

     Since then I have worked ferociously and insanely at being a better me. In high school, I read voraciously about EVERYTHING. In college, my studies focused on spirituality and I began to study meditation practices.  I have always been big on writing down goals and visualizing the next step.

     Then I read "The Twelve Universal Laws of Success."  It was the first time I saw the practices I used in a systematic form.  The perspective I got from this book put my efforts into gear.  The same year I took a yoga teacher training course.  I was able to manage the emotional upheaval in my life and maintain focus on my goals.

     That worked and things in my life aligned themselves miraculously.  I didn't stop studying.  I began listening to the "Life Visioning" series by Dr. Michael B. Beckwith.  I thought I was maintaining the life I created, but it became the catalyst for an entire life overhaul.

     I began using the MasterMind Goal Setting program too and it brought my life into sharper focus.  As I began to visualize the life I truly want to live, the universe conspired to align me to that.  So, everything I worked so hard for vanished.  It vanished because it wasn't what I felt in my soul I should do.  I was doing and had acquired what I thought I was supposed to.

     I have now surrendered to this process that I've chosen.  I continue to use the principles from "The 12 Universal Laws of Success" and I MasterMind almost everyday.  More importantly, I meditate and pray daily.  Honoring my truth and aligning the desires of my heart to the reality I conceive and live is what I seek to master at this time.  That is MY process.  I would to like to hear what your process is.